LS – Chapter 208: That’s why, stop listening in

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It seems like Wolfe has arranged her feelings, she came out of the room in a good mood. 

She must have headed to the place of Gradona in order to increase the things she can do as much as possible. 

Normally, I would have taken the route of having Wolfe herself wake up slowly with time, but I have no choice but to interfere when she has begun acting with herself as the price. 

“In the end, they are free to do what they want though.” 

The knights of this country fight with their lives on the line for the sake of the country and the people. 

Wolfe is simply directing that desire to a single individual in her case. 

In the end, I simply explained it away in a way that my personal ego would get through. 

“And so, how about coming out if you are there?” 

I honestly don’t know who is there. It is not like I can judge if there’s someone there to begin with, but if I mutter something like this, I can get someone out on the off-chance. 

“…Since when did you notice?” 

Ah, Ilias was there. 

I would have to say ‘now’ to her question, but let’s choose the words properly so that it doesn’t destroy the atmosphere just now. 

“Since the moment I was alone with Wolfe. You have good instincts, Ilias, so I thought that you would want to talk to me about the things that happened in the castle of the Green Demon Lord.” 

“…There’s times when I am uneasy about how much has been omitted.” (Ilias)

It is not like I understand someone 100%.

I am simply making them feel as if I know more than I lead on by using the percent I comprehend with my actions and words. 

I can just play off the parts that didn’t land as personal traits. 

Of course, once things fit, I can bring along the conversation with my own skills though. 

“You are making a complicated expression. You must be surprised that Wolfe is more mature than you imagined.” 

“Well, yeah. No, it is more like I am shocked she thought of me as a muscle-brain. I did have a feeling though…” (Ilias)

“Her Shishou says that often, so it is possible for her to have the same impression.” 

“Same for the attire of Ekdoik?” (Ilias)

“No, I personally find it cool.” 

As someone who doesn’t forget to have the mind of a child, the attire of Ekdoik tickles my chuunibyou side. 

But Wolfe is a girl, so I can’t force my views on her in that front. 

That said, Ilias seems to be conscious of me judging from her expression. She must be bothered about something. 

“Uhm…you know…” (Ilias)

“You don’t need to think too much about how to ask, you know? I have not expected much from your vocabulary after all.” 

“That doesn’t make me happy. But, right, there’s something I want to confirm. You were captured by Archbishop Seraes, and received torture to make you change sides. According to what Dyuvuleori said, you did something to the torturer and made him break down.” (Ilias)

“You are referring to my way of being, huh.” 

“…Yeah, even I can tell that you had become the one from that side. Did you return by yourself?” (Ilias)

I would normally look at the pure eyes of people like Ilias and Wolfe to move my way of being to the me side. 

I switched to the me side since the moment I planned on rushing to the cave of the Scarlet Demon Lord, and the people I encountered after that are far from pure. 

Ilias must be worried about that stuff.

“Sad that your role is gone?” 

“T-That’s not it!” (Ilias)

“I am kidding. To be honest, I was in a state where I couldn’t move to the me side.” 

“What do you mean by that?” (Ilias)

“The reason I can change my way of being is because it is like a self-suggestion. It is in order to not have inhibitions when I am doing actions on the good side -as you would say- and at the times when I would do actions on the bad side.” 

“I can understand by feeling those parts.” (Ilias)

I have been together with Ilias for a pretty long time now after all. 

Having shown her my switching over and over, she would understand it even if she doesn’t want to.

“In my case, the mental change brought upon by the switch is strong. That’s why I can do nasty things without batting an eye, but… I was way too reckless this time around. I pretty much charged onto the Scarlet Demon Lord like a human bomb, and even at the place of Archbishop Seraes, I had accepted my death. It seems like I suffered quite a lot after all.” 

“‘It seems like’…? Sounds as if you are talking of someone else.” (Ilias)

“I actually do feel as if it was someone else. I have the memories, but barely any reality of it. I have switched in a way so that it ends up like that after all.”

“…You can do something like that?” (Ilias)

“You yourself don’t hesitate when slashing down criminals, right? I am simply making it so that I don’t drag it along with me in the future.” 

“I kind of get it and kind of don’t…” (Ilias)

I am originally a coward -to the point that I would hesitate killing someone even if they are criminals. But there are times when it must be done. That’s why, at the times when I would change my way of being, I would make it so that I won’t receive the reality of it and the lingering emotions…apparently.” 

In the end, such self-defense mechanisms are being adjusted so that I don’t bring the emotional burden when the me switches to me

You could say my ability for self-suggestion is stronger in my me state without doubt. 

“Not being able to switch means…” (Ilias)

“That’s how strong the memory must have been -to the point where if I were to remember it, I would live a life where I would just shut inside my room and tremble. That’s why the me must have cut off the border to me in a more intense manner.” 

I have dyed my hands with evil in Japan as well. 

At the times when the means were way too horrible, there would be cases where I wouldn’t be able to switch my personality as I want for some time. 

I might end up pulling the reality of those events if I were to switch often as long as the memories remain. 

I must be keeping it in my heart due to the fear of this. It truly sounds like someone else’s business. 

“In other words, you have no choice but to act in your current state for a while?” (Ilias)

“Hope it is for a while… It is my first time being abused to the point of not being able to keep my original shape.” 

The Green Demon Lord and Niruryates were the first ones there when I woke up. 

I would normally smoothly change to me when facing such an unknown bunch, but I couldn’t do that at all. 

It would be nice if me was considerate about me and simply cut it off cleanly, but both sides of me are without doubt frail humans. 

At worst, the me side of my heart has died… I really am a troublesome human being. 

“I would like to be relieved by the fact that you won’t turn into that state…but that is worrying in and of itself.” (Ilias)

“Even if the personality was rebellious, he was still conscious of you and the others after all. Well, he is a horrible guy that would easily break his promise with Ilias though.” 

“…Let’s not touch that too much. But that’s not like you. You said before that both sides are you. The way you put it just now sounds as if that’s now a different person.” (Ilias)

“That’s true, but…there’s so much distance all of a sudden, it is messing me up.” 

He was like someone that was right by my side until now, but right now I can’t even feel his presence. 

That self that I couldn’t call a different personality until now has become a self that makes me feel might be a different personality. 

That in itself makes me want to thank and apologize though. 

“Hearing that hinders my desire to complain to you.” (Ilias)

“I am grateful for that, but I am me. I have the duty to hear your complaints as an individual though.” 

“It is as if you want to be complained about.” (Ilias)

Me is also me; I don’t want to deny that.” 

“…It somewhat feels as if you want to reduce the amount of complaints here.” (Ilias)

She noticed. 

It is true that I messed up. I want to at least accept the discontent of the people that were worried about me. 

Even if so, it is not like I will be open to complaints the whole time. 

“What about you, Ilias? It somewhat feels as if you want to decrease the complaints because you feel bad yourself.” 

“…It is true that I couldn’t protect you after all. I learned the correct way to mana strengthen from Lord Ragudo, and in terms of pure physical strength, I was confident that I wouldn’t lose to the other knights. Seeing you after that conceited state of mine would make me lose heart. It is to the point that it makes me think you heading to the Scarlet Demon Lord alone was because you saw me as useless.” (Ilias)

In terms of pure specs, it would be safe to say Ilias and Wolfe are the strongest within the humans aside from Anbu-kun. 

But the Scarlet Demon Lord defeated them both, and the one who bought the most time was Cara-jii. 

The ones who took his right arm were Lord Ragudo, Gradona, and Mix. 

“It means you are still too young to call yourself the strongest. Just think of it as lucky that it didn’t turn into an irreversible situation.” 

“So you won’t console me there, huh.” (Ilias)

“You have already settled matters inside of you, right? Then, a scolding is just enough.” 

“…Muh.” (Ilias)

Ilias is making a dissatisfied face. 

She is probably thinking this is way too different from the time with Wolfe. 

“The number one knight being Cara-jii remains unchanged; Ekdoik being the number one most versatile guy remains unchanged; Wolfe being the cutest remains unchanged.” 

“Y-You are going all in…” (Ilias)

“Then, allow me to throw a candy in. The partner I would like to entrust my back to the most, Ilias, you are the number one.” 

“…I see. That’s enough for me right now.” (Ilias)

Ilias got back on her feet on her own strength, but it is not like it is okay to not say something to her. 

If her motivation is back, it is my duty as her partner to push her.

“Alright, this is enough mental care for you two.” 

“Wait a moment. Did you say those words just now for that reason?” (Ilias)

“It doesn’t change the fact that I said those words from the heart. Or what, do you want me to praise you to the point of blushing? If you want to put way too much energy in your daily life as a result, I will accommodate your wants.” 

“…N-No, this much is enough. Right, you teasing me moderately lets me not get worked up. But can’t you think of a method that’s a little bit better?” (Ilias)

I am glad to see she has returned to her usual self. A serious face is tiring after all. This amount is best. 

“I can at least hug you like I did with Wolfe, you know? But I feel like there’s already people listening in.” 

“Hah?!” (Ilias)

Ilias directed her gaze at the door and I heard the sound of people running away. 

“Ah, Mix-chan, please don’t run away alone!” 

Looks like Rakura and Mix were there. 

Let’s have the blushing Ilias throw her complaints at Rakura. 

Well, Ilias was also listening in to someone else’s conversation, so she is not in a position to scold someone else about it though. 


Author: This protagonist is a pro when it comes to putting someone on a pedestal. 

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